Snot Fair

Few days ago I had a message from my brother on FB.
Kinda 'Hey how's it going'.
It's been months since I heard of him. Months since last he needed me and I helped him out and I haven't heard of him since, except, since.

Maybe the answer scared him off, enough at least to ask the original question. It wasn't my usual logorrhea, not my usual attack-kill-you-useless-piece-of-shit-I-haven't-heard-of-you-since...

Maybe he realized that when he says he can't come and visit because of new job and visa and money and blahblahblah and two months later he is is in South-Africa and Australia and whatnot, and FB tells me such, I'm his sister, that one woman who never ever forgave him something because he blinked and smiled and shrugged and said 'shuggs'. It there. He dune it. What the question?

Maybe I scared him off with the nutcracker attitude or some such. Maybe he was truely interested. Maybe he was finally planning a visit home not to see all his friends and drinking buddies and whatnot as usual, but to see his sis, and really ask her how she is. To visit mom, and dad, and help out.

And not try to compete with idiot elder brother who's even more of a shtako.


Doubt it, alas.

Real question is, can I blame him?

We always were with or against each other.  Always needing excuses to see eachother. Talk to eachother. Sis-in-law used to make jokes about it when I called my eldest brother. "Computer broke down again?"

We never were the kind of bros and sis you see in the movies.
Only refuge.
Let me sit five minutes with you and just laugh or talk or cry. And then I'll be on my way, no bother to you. Dad won't be funny anymore, and mom will have found her sense of humor again, or some such.

And then they walk away and I'll be right here stuck with their bother, and no younger sibling to stick it too.

Oh, brother...